Sunday, January 19, 2014

Academic pressure on children

The joy of child birth is certainly the most cherished moment for any parent. It can be the most precious gift that a person can ever have and the moment one becomes a parent, it is natural for them to have dreams and desires about their children.  But this can turn out to be a nightmare if parents are not careful in exercising their control on imposing their dreams and aspirations on their children.

It is seen these days that many parents burden their kids with the unnecessary pressure of getting them achieve too many things and those that don't match the child's interests and aptitude particularly with regard to the choice of a career.

It is absolutely unfair on the part of parents to impose or force children into something where the child lacks interest. It not only demeans the child's self confidence and self esteem but also prevent him from becoming an independent person.
Parents should realize that every child is unique and can have unique interests too. It is important to respect their interest and help them discover their talent and encourage them. If a child's career is influenced by parents or peers it can leave the child feeling frustrated and dissatisfied in the long run.
Parents can help them to decide their career based on their personal interest, ability and aptitude.
Just as parents dream that their child should be the best, get them a good name and obey them, so does every child expect that the parents be supportive of their decisions, encourage them and respect their feelings.

There is no wonder that every parent loves their child unconditionally. But if this unconditional love makes them over protective of their children, it can create a barrier in the parent-child relationship.
In such an atmosphere, the child will start drifting away from its parents.

Apart from parents, educational institutions also play a vital role in pressurizing children. Children are subjected to undue stress in achieving ranks impacting their physical, mental and emotional well being. Many educational institutions run long hours till late in the evening and stress only on academics with no room for any other activity. Students are forced to study continuously for almost 10 to 11 hours with just a half an hour break for lunch. Almost every institute (particularly those that coach for engineering and medicine aspirants) only aims that theirs be the top most in achieving ranks. Instead of preparing them to be winners in life, they only train them to be toppers which brings laurels to their institute. Education has literally become a business to these institutions.

All the more worse, students are labeled based on their marks and ranks as toppers and under achievers (weak students). This in turn lowers the self esteem and confidence of students who are unable to withstand the pressure of coping with the long hours of studies and fail to perform well according to the standards of the institutes. They are then placed in a separate section that is meant only for the poor performers which means they are subject to more and more pressure to perform well. Not only this, they are looked down upon by their teachers and peers who are able to fare well. These students are just treated like a prisoners. 
They are treated harshly, are humiliated by their teachers and are looked at like total losers. This scenario is particularly true in the south where the craze for engineering and medicine is high and parents and the society see no world beyond these two streams.
There is thus undoubtedly an increase in the  rate of suicides among students owing to unreasonable expectations from parents and educational institutes failing which, engulfs them with a feeling of guilt and a fear of facing parents and society. All of this compels them to take such an extreme step of committing suicide.

It is therefore high time that parents stop setting huge expectations and educational institutions branded students as toppers or weak students.
It will be wise if we change our attitudes and consider what the child thinks is important to him or her rather than just laying a conventional path to be followed blindly and regret later.






 

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Depression

The recent shocking incident of the death of a young, 33 year old actor, Uday Kiran, who committed suicide was reported to have been suffering from depression. While the truth of this is yet to be verified, this incident is certainly a wake up call for all those who seem to be depressed.


What is depression?

Depression is a very common psychological problem and can happen to anyone at any phase of life.
It is normal for anyone to feel low, sad or upset at times. But if someone feels low to the extent that one's state of mind affects one's normal functioning, it is high time one sought help.
Other signs include routine things like waking up in the morning, lack of interest in personal hygiene seeming difficult,feeling lazy all the time, problems in relationships, social withdrawl, difficulty in sleeping, anxiety over trivial things, out-bursts of anger, crying for no reason, lack of interest in anything, losing interest in activities that seemed to be enjoyable earlier etc.
 
In some cases, helplessness owing to depression may lead to suicidal tendencies. Persons contemplating suicide may often talk about ending their lives, expressing a strong dis interest in living, research on suicidal methods. The above signs should not be ignored since there is no guarantee that a person thinking of suicide may not commit it. It is very important that these people  never be left alone.
Family members and friends can help them by being supportive and getting them professional help at the earliest.


 Depression can be attributed to a number of factors such as failure in exams, love life, marital life, career, loss of someone close through death or separation from a loved one or a divorce, financial problems, problems in relationships, work pressure, parental pressure for students in achieving ranks and success in examinations, hormonal changes in women or simply for no reason at all or it can be genetic.That is, if a person has a family history of depression, he or she is at a high risk for the same.



Here are a few simple guidelines one can follow in dealing with depression;

- Do not suffer in silence. Talk to someone close to you, someone you trust about your disturbing condition. Sharing your problems helps ease your burden.

- Keep yourself occupied with activities that lifts your mood and boosts your morale.

- Exercise regularly to keep yourself fit mentally and physically.

- Eat right at regular time and avoid junk.

- Set a regular sleep pattern to ensure a good sleep for 7 to 8 hours.

- Stop comparing your life with that of others. You never know what the others are going  through and what the future has in store for you.

- Last but not the least, please do not ignore the signs of depression and get help.


Depression can be cured. It is important to keep in mind that depression is not a sign of weakness. On the contrary, it's the strongest people who have the courage to reach out for help, not the weakest.